The Doll and the Rose
author unknown
I was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying
"I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him:
''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''
The old lady replied:
''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."
I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
But he replied to me sadly.
"No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."
His eyes were so sad while saying this.
"My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
My heart nearly stopped.
The little boy looked up at me and said:
"I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."
Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me
"I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."
"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.
"
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy.
"What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''
"OK" he said "I hope that I have enough."
I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
The little boy said:
"Thank you God for giving me enough money!"
Then he looked at me and added
"I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!''
"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''
"My mommy loves white roses."
A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket.
I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.
Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl.
The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma.
Was this the family of the little boy?
Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away.
I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial.
She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.
I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
~~~~~~~
Would you like to know Jesus and have the peace and comfort that only He can give?
If so, why don't you pray this prayer and invite Jesus into your life:
Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make the kind of person You want me to be.
If you sincerely expressed that prayer to God, you can know that you have a personal relationship with Him. He will be your comfort in these troubled times. God promises us "peace that passes understanding" in other words peace in a world that doesn't make sense. You can know peace and hope even when your world is in turmoil. God does not change. Ever.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
024 - A Wonderful Christmas Morning!
A Wonderful Christmas Morning!
author unknown
In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone.
The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.
He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries. Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.
The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whoever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.
An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people.
I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal. That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.
One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana I wondered? I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.
I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids. I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys - then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boy’s pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.
On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.
When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was a whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans.
Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll. As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.
Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop.
Father, I ask you to bless our friends, relatives reading this story right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power or let them be the ones bringing love and joy in someone else’s life. Amen.
author unknown
In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone.
The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.
He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries. Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.
The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck. The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whoever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job. Still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel.
An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people.
I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal. That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money-- fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.
One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing, just those beautiful brand new tires. Had angels taken up residence in Indiana I wondered? I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires.
I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids. I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys - then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boy’s pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair.
On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. There were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe. A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up.
When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat. Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was a whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans.
Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll. As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.
Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop.
Father, I ask you to bless our friends, relatives reading this story right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power or let them be the ones bringing love and joy in someone else’s life. Amen.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
026 - The Gift of Forgiveness
The Gift of Forgiveness
by John William Smith
The Christmas of 1949 we didn’t have a tree.
My dad had as much pride as anybody, I suppose, so he wouldn’t just say that we couldn’t afford one.
When I mentioned it, my mother said that we weren’t going to have one this year, that we couldn’t afford one, and even if we could – it was stupid to clutter up your house with a dead tree.
I wanted a tree badly though, and I thought – in my naïve way – that if we had one, everybody would feel better.
Taking Matters into my Own Hands
About three days before Christmas, I was out collecting for my paper route.
It was fairly late – long after dark – it was snowing and very cold.
I went to the apartment building to try to catch a customer who hadn’t paid me for nearly two months – she owed me seven dollars.
Much to my surprise, she was home.
She invited me in and not only did she pay me, she gave me a dollar tip!
It was a windfall for me – I now had eight whole dollars.
What happened next was totally unplanned.
On the way home, I walked past a Christmas tree lot and the idea hit me.
The selection wasn’t very good because it was so close to the holiday, but there was this one real nice tree.
It had been a very expensive tree and no one had bought it; now it was so close to Christmas that the man was afraid no one would.
He wanted ten dollars for it, but when I – in my gullible innocence – told him I only had eight, he said he might sell it for that.
I really didn’t want to spend the whole eight dollars on the tree, but it was so pretty that I finally agreed.
I dragged it all the way home – about a mile, I think – and I tried hard not to damage it or break off any limbs.
The snow helped to cushion it, and it was still in pretty good shape when I got home.
You can’t imagine how proud and excited I was.
I propped it up against the railing on our front porch and went in.
My heart was bursting as I announced that I had a surprise.
I got Mom and Dad to come to the front door and then I switched on the porch light.
Surprise!!
"Where did you get that tree?" my mother exclaimed.
But it wasn’t the kind of exclamation that indicates pleasure.
"I bought it up on Main Street. Isn’t it just the most perfect tree you ever saw?" I said, trying to maintain my enthusiasm.
"Where did you get the money?" Her tone was accusing and it began to dawn on me that this wasn’t going to turn out as I had planned.
"From my paper route." I explained about the customer who had paid me.
"And you spent the whole eight dollars on this tree?" she exclaimed.
She went into a tirade about how stupid it was to spend my money on a dumb tree that would be thrown out and burned in a few days.
She told me how irresponsible I was and how I was just like my dad with all those foolish, romantic, noble notions about fairy tales and happy endings and that it was about time I grew up and learned some sense about the realities of life and how to take care of money and spend it on things that were needed and not on silly things.
She said that I was going to end up in the poorhouse because I believe in stupid things like Christmas trees, things that didn’t amount to anything.
I Just Stood There
My mother had never talked to me like that before and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
I felt awful and I began to cry.
Finally, she reached out and snapped off the porch light.
"Leave it there," she said. "Leave that tree there till it rots, so every time we see it, we’ll all be reminded of how stupid the men in this family are."
Then she stormed up the stairs to her bedroom and we didn’t see her until the next day.
Dad and I brought the tree in and we made a stand for it.
He got out the box of ornaments and we decorated it as best as we could; but men aren’t too good at things like that, and besides, it wasn’t the same without mom.
There were a few presents under it by Christmas day – although I can’t remember a single one of them – but Mom wouldn’t have anything to do with it.
It was the worst Christmas I ever had.
Fast Forward to Today
Judi and I married in August of 1963, and dad died on October 10 of that year. Over the next eight years, we lived in many places. Mom sort of divided up the year – either living with my sister Jary or with us.
In 1971 we were living in Wichita, Kansas – Lincoln was about seven, Brendan was three and Kristen was a baby. Mom was staying with us during the holidays. On Christmas Eve I stayed up very late. I was totally alone with my thoughts, alternating between joy and melancholy, and I got to thinking about my paper route, that tree, what my mother had said to me and how Dad had tried to make things better.
I heard a noise in the kitchen and discovered that it was mom. She couldn’t sleep either and had gotten up to make herself a cup of hot tea – which was her remedy for just about everything. As she waited for the water to boil, she walked into the living room and discovered me there. She saw my open Bible and asked me what I was reading. When I told her, she asked if I would read it to her and I did.
The Truth Comes Out
When the kettle began to whistle, she went and made her tea. She came back, and we started to visit. I told her how happy I was that she was with us for Christmas and how I wished that Dad could have lived to see his grandchildren and to enjoy this time because he always loved Christmas so. It got very quiet for a moment and then she said, "Do you remember that time on Twelve Mile Road when you bought that tree with your paper route money?"
"Yes," I said, "I’ve just been thinking about it you know."
She hesitated for a long moment, as though she were on the verge of something that was bottled up so deeply inside her soul that it might take surgery to get it out. Finally, great tears started down her face and she cried, "Oh, son, please forgive me."
"That time and that Christmas have been a burden on my heart for twenty-five years. I wish your dad were here so I could tell him how sorry I am for what I said. Your dad was a good man and it hurts me to know that he went to his grave without ever hearing me say that I was sorry for that night. Nothing will ever make what I said right, but you need to know that your dad never did have any money sense (which was all too true).
We were fighting all the time - though not in front of you - we were two months behind in our house payments, we had no money for groceries, your dad was talking about going back to Arkansas and that tree was the last straw. I took it all out on you. It doesn’t make what I did right, but I hoped that someday, when you were older, you would understand. I’ve wanted to say something for ever so long and I’m so glad it’s finally out."
Well, we both cried a little and held each other and I forgave her – it wasn’t hard, you know.
Then we talked for a long time, and I did understand; I saw what I had never seen and the bitterness and sadness that had gathered up in me for all those years gradually washed away.
It was marvelously simple.
The great gifts of this season – or any season – can’t be put under the tree; you can’t wear them or eat them or drive them or play with them. We spend so much time on the lesser gifts – toys, sweaters, jewelry, the mint, anise and dill of Christmas – and so little on the great gifts – understanding, grace, peace and forgiveness. It’s no wonder that the holiday leaves us empty, because when it’s over, the only reminders we have are the dirty dishes and the January bills.
The Great GiftThe great gifts are like the one gift – the gift that began it all back there in Bethlehem of Judea. You can’t buy them, and they’re not on anybody’s shopping list. They come as He came – quietly, freely, unexpectedly – and if you’re not careful, you’ll miss them entirely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you have unforgiveness in your life that is making life miserable for you? Why not let Jesus show you how to forgive those who have hurt you? If you don’t know Jesus, we encourage you to pray the following prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life. Make me be the person you want me to be. Amen.
Saying this prayer is the first step towards a personal relationship with Jesus, who will guide and encourage you every step of the way.
by John William Smith
The Christmas of 1949 we didn’t have a tree.
My dad had as much pride as anybody, I suppose, so he wouldn’t just say that we couldn’t afford one.
When I mentioned it, my mother said that we weren’t going to have one this year, that we couldn’t afford one, and even if we could – it was stupid to clutter up your house with a dead tree.
I wanted a tree badly though, and I thought – in my naïve way – that if we had one, everybody would feel better.
Taking Matters into my Own Hands
About three days before Christmas, I was out collecting for my paper route.
It was fairly late – long after dark – it was snowing and very cold.
I went to the apartment building to try to catch a customer who hadn’t paid me for nearly two months – she owed me seven dollars.
Much to my surprise, she was home.
She invited me in and not only did she pay me, she gave me a dollar tip!
It was a windfall for me – I now had eight whole dollars.
What happened next was totally unplanned.
On the way home, I walked past a Christmas tree lot and the idea hit me.
The selection wasn’t very good because it was so close to the holiday, but there was this one real nice tree.
It had been a very expensive tree and no one had bought it; now it was so close to Christmas that the man was afraid no one would.
He wanted ten dollars for it, but when I – in my gullible innocence – told him I only had eight, he said he might sell it for that.
I really didn’t want to spend the whole eight dollars on the tree, but it was so pretty that I finally agreed.
I dragged it all the way home – about a mile, I think – and I tried hard not to damage it or break off any limbs.
The snow helped to cushion it, and it was still in pretty good shape when I got home.
You can’t imagine how proud and excited I was.
I propped it up against the railing on our front porch and went in.
My heart was bursting as I announced that I had a surprise.
I got Mom and Dad to come to the front door and then I switched on the porch light.
Surprise!!
"Where did you get that tree?" my mother exclaimed.
But it wasn’t the kind of exclamation that indicates pleasure.
"I bought it up on Main Street. Isn’t it just the most perfect tree you ever saw?" I said, trying to maintain my enthusiasm.
"Where did you get the money?" Her tone was accusing and it began to dawn on me that this wasn’t going to turn out as I had planned.
"From my paper route." I explained about the customer who had paid me.
"And you spent the whole eight dollars on this tree?" she exclaimed.
She went into a tirade about how stupid it was to spend my money on a dumb tree that would be thrown out and burned in a few days.
She told me how irresponsible I was and how I was just like my dad with all those foolish, romantic, noble notions about fairy tales and happy endings and that it was about time I grew up and learned some sense about the realities of life and how to take care of money and spend it on things that were needed and not on silly things.
She said that I was going to end up in the poorhouse because I believe in stupid things like Christmas trees, things that didn’t amount to anything.
I Just Stood There
My mother had never talked to me like that before and I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
I felt awful and I began to cry.
Finally, she reached out and snapped off the porch light.
"Leave it there," she said. "Leave that tree there till it rots, so every time we see it, we’ll all be reminded of how stupid the men in this family are."
Then she stormed up the stairs to her bedroom and we didn’t see her until the next day.
Dad and I brought the tree in and we made a stand for it.
He got out the box of ornaments and we decorated it as best as we could; but men aren’t too good at things like that, and besides, it wasn’t the same without mom.
There were a few presents under it by Christmas day – although I can’t remember a single one of them – but Mom wouldn’t have anything to do with it.
It was the worst Christmas I ever had.
Fast Forward to Today
Judi and I married in August of 1963, and dad died on October 10 of that year. Over the next eight years, we lived in many places. Mom sort of divided up the year – either living with my sister Jary or with us.
In 1971 we were living in Wichita, Kansas – Lincoln was about seven, Brendan was three and Kristen was a baby. Mom was staying with us during the holidays. On Christmas Eve I stayed up very late. I was totally alone with my thoughts, alternating between joy and melancholy, and I got to thinking about my paper route, that tree, what my mother had said to me and how Dad had tried to make things better.
I heard a noise in the kitchen and discovered that it was mom. She couldn’t sleep either and had gotten up to make herself a cup of hot tea – which was her remedy for just about everything. As she waited for the water to boil, she walked into the living room and discovered me there. She saw my open Bible and asked me what I was reading. When I told her, she asked if I would read it to her and I did.
The Truth Comes Out
When the kettle began to whistle, she went and made her tea. She came back, and we started to visit. I told her how happy I was that she was with us for Christmas and how I wished that Dad could have lived to see his grandchildren and to enjoy this time because he always loved Christmas so. It got very quiet for a moment and then she said, "Do you remember that time on Twelve Mile Road when you bought that tree with your paper route money?"
"Yes," I said, "I’ve just been thinking about it you know."
She hesitated for a long moment, as though she were on the verge of something that was bottled up so deeply inside her soul that it might take surgery to get it out. Finally, great tears started down her face and she cried, "Oh, son, please forgive me."
"That time and that Christmas have been a burden on my heart for twenty-five years. I wish your dad were here so I could tell him how sorry I am for what I said. Your dad was a good man and it hurts me to know that he went to his grave without ever hearing me say that I was sorry for that night. Nothing will ever make what I said right, but you need to know that your dad never did have any money sense (which was all too true).
We were fighting all the time - though not in front of you - we were two months behind in our house payments, we had no money for groceries, your dad was talking about going back to Arkansas and that tree was the last straw. I took it all out on you. It doesn’t make what I did right, but I hoped that someday, when you were older, you would understand. I’ve wanted to say something for ever so long and I’m so glad it’s finally out."
Well, we both cried a little and held each other and I forgave her – it wasn’t hard, you know.
Then we talked for a long time, and I did understand; I saw what I had never seen and the bitterness and sadness that had gathered up in me for all those years gradually washed away.
It was marvelously simple.
The great gifts of this season – or any season – can’t be put under the tree; you can’t wear them or eat them or drive them or play with them. We spend so much time on the lesser gifts – toys, sweaters, jewelry, the mint, anise and dill of Christmas – and so little on the great gifts – understanding, grace, peace and forgiveness. It’s no wonder that the holiday leaves us empty, because when it’s over, the only reminders we have are the dirty dishes and the January bills.
The Great GiftThe great gifts are like the one gift – the gift that began it all back there in Bethlehem of Judea. You can’t buy them, and they’re not on anybody’s shopping list. They come as He came – quietly, freely, unexpectedly – and if you’re not careful, you’ll miss them entirely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do you have unforgiveness in your life that is making life miserable for you? Why not let Jesus show you how to forgive those who have hurt you? If you don’t know Jesus, we encourage you to pray the following prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of my life. Make me be the person you want me to be. Amen.
Saying this prayer is the first step towards a personal relationship with Jesus, who will guide and encourage you every step of the way.
Monday, November 15, 2010
039 - Bonus
Three dustmen are doing their last round before Christmas.
The first goes to a house, knocks and finds himself being invited in by a stunning blonde, who takes him upstairs and gives him a good seeing to.Afterwards, he rushes out and brags to his two pals about it.
So the seconddecides to try his luck. Sure enough, the same thing happens to him.
Finally, the dustcart driver, reckoning he’s on to a sure thing, gets out and knocks on the door.
The woman answers, smiles and gives him a fiver.Severely disappointed, the man asks: ‘How come I just get money, when you gave my pals a proper Christmas bonus?’‘Well,’ the woman replies, ‘when I asked my husband about tipping you all, he said ‘Give the driver £5 – screw the other two’.’
Monday, November 8, 2010
046 - Did you know that?
According to historical accounts, the first Christmas in the Philippines was celebrated 200 years before Ferdinand Magellan discovered the country for the western world, likely between the years 1280 and 1320 AD.
Friday, October 22, 2010
063 - No Nativity Scene for Christmas
The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
"Are You God?"
One cold evening during the holiday season, a little boy about six or seven was standing out in front of a store window. The little child had no shoes and his clothes were mere rags. A young woman passing by saw the little boy and could read the longing in his pale blue eyes. She took the child by the hand and led him into the store. There she bought him some new shoes and a complete suit of warm clothing.
They came back outside into the street and the woman said to the child, 'Now you can go home and have a very happy holiday."
The little boy looked up at her and asked, "Are you God, Ma'am?"
She smiled down at him and replied, "No son, I'm just one of His children."
The little boy then said, "I knew you had to be some relation."
They came back outside into the street and the woman said to the child, 'Now you can go home and have a very happy holiday."
The little boy looked up at her and asked, "Are you God, Ma'am?"
She smiled down at him and replied, "No son, I'm just one of His children."
The little boy then said, "I knew you had to be some relation."
Monday, October 11, 2010
074 - Christmas for lawyers
It is Christmas eve.
A burglar breaks into the home of a prominent local lawyer. He takes the lawyer's Christmas gifts from under the tree leaving the packages for the wife and children alone. As he is leaving the house, he is apprehended by a policeman.He confesses to what he has done but tells the policeman that he can't be arrested.The policeman asks why, and he responds, "Because the law states that I'm entitled to the presents of an attorney."
Sunday, October 10, 2010
075 - How Long?
A drunken Irishman gets on a train and asks the conductor how long the trip is between Limerick to Cork.
"About two hours," says the conductor.
"Okay," says the drunkard, "then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?"
The irate conductor says to the drunk "
It's still about two hours, laddie.
Why'd ya think there'd be a difference?"
"Well," says the drunk, "it's only a week between Christmas and New Year's,
but it's a helluva long time between New Year's and Christmas!"
"About two hours," says the conductor.
"Okay," says the drunkard, "then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?"
The irate conductor says to the drunk "
It's still about two hours, laddie.
Why'd ya think there'd be a difference?"
"Well," says the drunk, "it's only a week between Christmas and New Year's,
but it's a helluva long time between New Year's and Christmas!"
Saturday, October 9, 2010
077 - Afraid of Santa
A man went to his psychiatrist and said,
"What's wrong with me? I'm afraid of Santa."
The psychiatrist said, "You must be Claustrofobic."
"What's wrong with me? I'm afraid of Santa."
The psychiatrist said, "You must be Claustrofobic."
Friday, October 8, 2010
076 - Wanna meet Santa
A beautiful innocent young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve.
Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice,
"Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away." Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go, Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stayfor a while..."
Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay." Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay...." Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow, says, "HEY HEY HEY, Gotta stay, Gotta stay, Can't get up the chimney with my pecker this way!!!"
Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl, who happens to be a gorgeous redhead, says in a sexy voice,
"Oh Santa, please stay. Keep the chill away." Santa replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, gotta go, Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl drops the robe to reveal a sexy bra and panties and says in an even sexier voice, "Oh Santa, don't run a mile; just stayfor a while..."
Santa begins to sweat but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go. Gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
The girl takes off her bra and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay." Santa wipes his brow but replies, "HO HO HO, Gotta go, Gotta go, gotta get the presents to the children, you know."
She loses the panties and says, "Oh Santa... Please... Stay...." Santa, with sweat pouring off his brow, says, "HEY HEY HEY, Gotta stay, Gotta stay, Can't get up the chimney with my pecker this way!!!"
Thursday, October 7, 2010
078 - Santa couldn't believe it
Santa Claus needed a vacation. He decided to go to Texas because it was warm and he had heard that the people were friendly. As soon as he arrived in town, people began to point and say, "Look The big red one! Isn't he someone famous?
Santa thought, "Gee, I'll never get any rest if people star asking to sit on my lap and try to tell me things they want.So hedecided to disguise himself. He bought a cowboy outfit complete with cowboy boots and cowboy hat. "No one will know me now, I look just like everyone else!he thought happily.
As soon as Santa started walking down the street people began to point and say, "Look! It's that famous Christmas personality! Santa rushed around a corner to hide.
"It's my beard!he thought. "They recognize me because of my long white beard!So Santa went to a barbershop and had his beard shaved off. "I really look like everybody else now!Santa thought.
So he walked down the street with a big smile on his face. Suddenly a man shouted, "It's him! It's him! Look everybody!"
Santa couldn't believe it. He was sure that no one would recognize him. So Santa walked up to the man and said, "How did you recognize me?"
The man looked at Santa and said, "You? I don't know you, but isn't that four-legged guy with the big red nose behind you Rudolph?
Santa thought, "Gee, I'll never get any rest if people star asking to sit on my lap and try to tell me things they want.So hedecided to disguise himself. He bought a cowboy outfit complete with cowboy boots and cowboy hat. "No one will know me now, I look just like everyone else!he thought happily.
As soon as Santa started walking down the street people began to point and say, "Look! It's that famous Christmas personality! Santa rushed around a corner to hide.
"It's my beard!he thought. "They recognize me because of my long white beard!So Santa went to a barbershop and had his beard shaved off. "I really look like everybody else now!Santa thought.
So he walked down the street with a big smile on his face. Suddenly a man shouted, "It's him! It's him! Look everybody!"
Santa couldn't believe it. He was sure that no one would recognize him. So Santa walked up to the man and said, "How did you recognize me?"
The man looked at Santa and said, "You? I don't know you, but isn't that four-legged guy with the big red nose behind you Rudolph?
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
079 - No Gift this Year
One year, a particular harried husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift.
The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked him why, he replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
080 - I’m a Christmas bell
“Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a Christmas bell!”
“Take these pills and if they don’t work, give me a ring.”
“Take these pills and if they don’t work, give me a ring.”
Monday, October 4, 2010
081 - A four year old boy
A four-year-old boy who was asked to return thanks before Christmas dinner. The family members bowed their heads in expectation. He began his prayer, thanking God for all his friends, naming them one by one. Then he thanked God for Mommy, Daddy, brother, sister, Grandma, Grandpa, and all his aunts and uncles. Then he began to thank God for the food. He gave thanks for the turkey, the dressing, the fruit salad, the cranberry sauce, the pies, the cakes, even the Cool Whip. Then he paused, and everyone waited ... and waited. After a long silence, the young fellow looked up at his mother and asked, "If I thank God for the broccoli, won't he know that I'm lying?"
Sunday, October 3, 2010
082 - At the Airport
It was slightly before Christmas. The trip went reasonably well, and he was ready to go back. The airport on the other end had turned a tacky red and green, and loudspeakers blared annoying elevator renditions of cherished Christmas carols.
Being someone who took Christmas very seriously, and being slightly tired, he was not in a particularly good mood.
Going to check in his luggage (which, for some reason, had become one suitcase with entirely new clothes), he saw hanging mistletoe. Not real mistletoe, but very cheap plastic with red paint on some of the rounder parts and green paint on some of the flatter and pointier parts, that could be taken for mistletoe only in a very Picasso sort of way.
With a considerable degree of irritation and nowhere else to vent it, he said to the attendant,
"Even if I were not married, I would not want to kiss you under such a ghastly mockery of mistletoe."
"Sir, look more closely at where the mistletoe is."
(pause)
"Ok, I see that it's above the luggage scale, which is the place you'd have to step forward for a kiss."
"That's not why it's there."
(pause)
"Ok, I give up. Why is it there?"
"It's there so you can kiss your luggage goodbye."
Sunday, September 26, 2010
089 - Did you see Santa
My daughter-in-law asked my grandson if he had seen Santa Claus onChristmas Eve. Lil’ Jimmy said, “No, but I heard what he said when hestubbed his toe on the sofa.”
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
109 -Rudolph’S Medical Bill
Santa Claus brings poor Rudolph to the vet. He says to the vet, “Doctor, please do something for my Rudolph. His nose won’t light up.” The vet walks out of the room and returns with a pet carrier. He places the pet carrier next to the reindeer, opens it and out steps a cat. The cat walks around the reindeer and sniffs it. The cat then walks back into the carrier. The animal doctor takes it out of the room and returns. He hands Santa Claus the bill. Santa gasps, “$350 dollars! You didn’t do anything for my Rudolph and you’re charging me $350 dollars?” The vet shrugged and replied, “That’s the usual charge. $50 dollars for the office visit and $300 dollars for the CAT SCAN.”
Monday, September 6, 2010
110 - Christmas Story
A little boy returned from Sunday school with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he could hardly wait to tell his parents.As soon as he arrived home, he immediately began, “I learned all about the very first Christmas in Sunday school today! There wasn’t a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys! And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn’t there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around!”
Sunday, September 5, 2010
111 - Holding For Ransom
Little Johnny was planning on getting lots of preasents for Christmas. He knew that God had a connection to the North Pole, and stood up and started to pray.
“God, i have been a child of perfection this year. I think i should get lots of preasents… no that won’t work.”He got on his knees.
“God, I haven’t been the best child since last December. I still deserve lots of preasents for my efforts… no that can’t work either!”He laid face flat on the floor.
“God, I have been a complete devil this year. But i can change, I promise! No, theres no way he beleive that!”
Johnny went to his last resort. He walked over to the modle of the stable that jesus was born in. Little Johnny reached in and pulled out the virgin mary. He went into his room, wrapped mary in a sock, and placed her in his drawer.
“God, if you ever want to see your mother again…
Friday, September 3, 2010
113 - Rita's Try-on
Rita was going to the Xmas office party but needed a new party frock. So she went into SM and asked the assistant, 'May I try on that dress in the window, please?'
'Certainly not, madam,' responded the assistant, 'You'll have to use the changing room like everyone else.'
'Certainly not, madam,' responded the assistant, 'You'll have to use the changing room like everyone else.'
Thursday, September 2, 2010
114 - Who Survived
The Perfect Couple:
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After the perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.
One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple were driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.
There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on Christmas Eve, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.
Unfortunately, driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Clause had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor?
Answer: The perfect woman survived. She’s the only one that existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as the perfect man.
***Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.
***Men, read the next block of words.
Men: So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa, the perfect woman must have been driving, which explains why there was an accident in the first place.
By the way, if you’re a woman and you’re reading this, it only serves to illustrate another point, women never listen either.
114 - Bad Education
4 year old sister, mom, dad, 16 year old sister and 14 year old brother.
Moms in the kitchen stuffing the turkey. All of a sudden turkey falls off counter and mom goes “FUCK!”
Then little girl says “Mommy what does ’fuck’ mean?”
Franticly mom says “ummm its just what i’m doing to the turkey =)”
“Ok” says the little girl, then the little girl goes upstairs and sees dad shaving in the washroom. All of a sudden he cuts himself and goes “SHIT!”
Little girl says “daddy what does ’shit’ mean?”
He answers quicky “ummmm, its just the white stuff on my face…”
“ok” says the little girl.
then she goes to her older sister’s room and sees her on her cell phone
she says “……..What?……. REALLY!?……THOSE BITCHES AND BASTARDS!!!!!!!” Then the little girl says “Melissa, what does ’bitches and bastards mean’?”
quickly her older sister answers “They’re both just other words for people”
“ok” says the little girl. then she goes to her bro’s room and sees him looking at a porno magazine….. she hears him say “Wow….. look at those tits and balls!” *drools*
then the little girl says “Tony, what does ’tits and balls’ mean?”
quickly the older brother answers “ummmm….. they’re just another word for scarfs and sweaters” he says just randomly thinking of them.
“ok” says the little girl. when all of a sudden the doorbell rings. The little girl opens the door and sees some friends of mom and dad.
she says to them “hello bitches and bastards! please hang your tits and balls on the rack. My Daddys in the washroom wiping the shit off his face and my Mommys in the kitchen fucking the turkey!”
Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
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